I feel genuine sorrow for the pain I caused on my part, certainly not self pity.
For instance, Tanya would have a problem every weekend knowing that Doug was spending a lot of time with me and his family.
I never even thought of that.
This underlying form of brainwashing got our daughter to hate me, even though I again really did nothing wrong.
This is no doubt something that people handle in their own ways, and that there really is no right or particulary good way to go about dealing with it.
Contrast that harshly to the loyal spouse who, not knowing that anything is occurring, continues to engage in behaviors that create distance, continues to contribute to resentment, and spitefully withholds the exact types of affection and connection-building activities that the 'other person' is using to grow a connection with the disloyal spouse.